To Be A Vampire Or Not To Be?
by yellowy
Summary: Bella is sure of what she wants. Edward Cullen. But is she so sure she wants to be a vampire? Is the decision already made? There is someone they have forgotten completely about...
1. Chapter 1

Hellooo I hope everyone enjoys this story, I think it works well J Just clarifying… can Jacob turn Bella into a werewolf??? In my story it is possible.

Cheers

P.S: In my other story Bella got a new car but in this one she doesn't have it, as if that story hasn't happened yet. Edward and Bella are married, but Bella isn't a vampire yet. She is going to become one soon as scheduled. Enjoy!

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"How bout it Bella?" Edward asked me, his eyes deep and hopeful. I sighed feeling myself giving in. Remembering what happened last time, I shivered.

"OK fine, I'll go to your stupid baseball game tonight."

"Oh joy! Thanks so much Bell, I swear, you won't regret it, maybe you can play!"

I grunted. "Sure and get smashed in the face by the ball."

"Oh don't worry, I won't let that happen. And I think you're upset about what happened last time…"

"…Yeah. I guess." I reminded myself that Victoria was now dead.

"I won't let it happen."

Edward took my hand in his. His were as usual cold but his eyes were warm looking into mine, happily watching me.

"I'll swing by at eight, kay?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure, in my room…?"

"As always," he said grinning. "OK so just so you know, all of as are going, Alice especially was hoping you would go."

"OK, good, tell her I'll be there."

"She'll be so happy. OK then, see you at eight," he said kissing me on the cheek. I had to go down to La Push to visit Jacob, I hadn't seen him for a while, I didn't see him at our wedding but he asked me to come by his house for the afternoon.

"Remember, if you need help, ring me."

"OK, I'll be fine, Bye!" I called as he closed the door behind him. Charlie had gone out to get some fruit and meat. I went upstairs to my room and got changed into some jeans and a nice top from track pants and a shirt that I think was Charlie's. I went outside and sighed at the dirty red truck. It stared at me like an old dog, still playful but not energetic, needing love but can't be put to work too hard. Although this truck was a car, which I am aware of, it seemed to have its own personality, it likes me, hates Edward and Edward hates it. I love it, it's wonderful, a little something that reminds me of Charlie.

I drove down to La Push thinking about a movie Edward and I stayed in to watch the other night. It was a horror movie about a vampire princess who needs a prince, she chooses one guy and the guy turns out to be a werewolf so she transforms him. It was so hilarious Edward watching it because he kept laughing when the princess showed her fangs and her coffin. I thought it was a bit creepy and eerie but Edward thought it was a comedy.

The movie was good overall but to finish off we watched a romantic movie about a guy who really needs to be with this girl but when she moves on he can't deal with being alone so he fights for her and when their nations attack each other the guy goes in fighting and meets up with her apologising and making this really romantic speech. The girl ends up moving back. I thought it was quite corny but Edward kept relatively still throughout the movie.

When I arrived at the beach where Jacob and I arranged to meet I looked out on the headland but couldn't see anyone.

"Hello," he said cheerfully from behind me.

"Oh hi, don't do that," I said to Jacob.

"Sorry, the look on your face, classic."

"Shut up. Hey, did you come to our wedding?" Jacobs face fell.

"Yeah. I was there."

"I looked for you I didn't see you when we were eating…"

"I left after the ceremony, not staying for food."

"Oh. Why?"

"I felt… uncomfortable."

"As in bad?"

"As in sad."

"Oh," I said feeling slightly awkward. "Well, you know, Edward and I are married now, soon I'm going to be a vampire." He flinched.

"That's the thing, before you do, become a vampire, I want to spend a lot more time with you."

"We can still spend time together when I'm a vampire…"

"No, we can't," he said bluntly, his face in all seriousness.

"…Why? I want to see you, Jake."

"You'll be a _vampire_. A filthy bloodsucking animal, an uncontrollable stupid animal." I was insulted.

"Jake, I won't change, I'll still be Bella. Bella… Cullen."

He turned around and before I could speak to him, he was gone. I was guessing he went away for a bit. When I was about to talk, my voice spoke into the frosty afternoon air.

"Jacob," I called in a normal voice. "If you want to spend time with me, then may it be now?"

There was no reply. I waited until finally I heard a rustling in the bushes. Jake emerged.

"I'm sorry. I got a bit… angry so I had to go."

"That's OK." A small silence followed.

"Listen. The initial plan when you were out here was to take you somewhere but since you've put something very well in perspective for me, I need you to trust me. Trust me with your future."  
"How am I supposed to?"

"Just decide whether you want to."

"OK, I trust you."

"Good," Jake said. "Now trust me and close your eyes." I closed my eyes. "I want you to breath out and hold it. Good. Now keep them closed." I waited for a bit and decided to take a peek. When I opened my eyes I saw Jake deformed, different, not making a sound but turning into a wolf. I was scared a bit but closed my eyes again. What did this have to do with my future? Trusting him with my future? I opened my eyes again when I felt nothing was happening. I saw Jacob take a deep breath and pounce on me. I struggled out of the way but I still got pulled down. On the ground I screamed at him, I had landed on my wrist which was still in recovery.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

As expected, no response. He was still on top of me, standing his ground. This wasn't playful Jacob, this was an angry growling Jake. He summoned a vibration in the back of his throat and jumped over from looking at me to my arm where he sank his teeth in. The same sensation, a stinging feeling and fire burning. I was in the same white light as before when I was bitten by the vampire from the old trio at baseball we met. I felt weaker, I crawled up into a little ball, my legs tucked to my chest and my arms above my head. Between my shoulder and my elbow felt like it had swollen to balloon size. It felt as if there was a fire on the inside burning its way out then spreading to do the same process all over. I screamed in pain and felt Jacob's warm body against mine.

"It's OK, it'll be over soon, you'll be like me, like Sam. Thank you for trusting me with your future. This is what's best."


	2. Chapter 2

Enjoy! Please Review, I'd love to know what you think and how I can improve!

Chapter 2 All!!!!

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Edwards Point Of View

Suddenly something was wrong, my head ached like half of it was ready to explode. I felt someone's thoughts, someone I knew. Jacob.

"_Shush Bella. She'll be a werewolf soon, gosh she can cry and scream… I'll have to hold her down. Hmm, maybe I can grab some tape to stop her screaming. I wouldn't have thought a werewolf bite would hurt that much…"_

I stopped myself from listening anymore. Before I could feel my hearts feelings, I realised I was speeding head on into a tree. Pushing on the brake as hard as I could, I spun the wheel making it drift onto its side. The tree hit the side of my car damaging it a hell of a lot. Before I could be concerned about that at all, I got out. A car parked behind me and a middle aged man got out offering a ride and to help me, even to use his phone I didn't reply, I just walked away. I looked back once not worried about the car just that other people might see it. I guess walking away un harmed would be pretty extraordinary from a crash like that. I didn't care what other people did now, only what Jake was doing and what he was doing to Bella.

My first thought was to go straight there but what did I know anything about treating werewolf bites. Could they even be treated? I prayed they could. Wait. How did I know Jacob was serious about thinking this? It could be a trap… But I wasn't going to take that chance. No way in hell. If Bella became a werewolf because I thought it was a false alarm, I would never forgive myself.

I was guessing I should go back to Carslie to make sure he knew how to treat it. How would I get to Carslie? I couldn't drive my car… I couldn't catch transport… I had to run… On the street? Where people could see me? I was twenty minute drive away, looks like I had to take the quick shortcut of running. I jogged into the dense bush and ran as fast as I could. There was no doubt that someone had seen me by now… But at least I knew what I was doing and I had a good reason. It doesn't look it… But I am restraining any thoughts in my mind I have of Bella being dead or injured. Or a werewolf. I'd love Bella even if she were, its just as long as she has nothing to do with Jacob. I knew that Jacob wouldn't hurt her, or punish her, but turning her into a werewolf against her own will… Well that doesn't sound like something he would do either. I knew Jacob well enough that he would push Bella, but to an extent. He would let her choose so far along the track that she may as well keep going along that track, not turning back to me. I knew that if she wanted to be with Jacob, she would have spoke up. Wouldn't she? After all, she is pretty shy… I guess you can never tell with Bella, another disadvantage of not being able to read her thoughts.

And so I kept running, my mind was still clear but I stopped it from focusing on what Jacob was thinking. All I needed to know was to get to Carslie, see if there was a cure, then go to help Bella choose. Choose, not save. The first thing I will do if I have a chance is to ask her if she wants to be a werewolf. If she does, I will leave her. I have already proven to her that I would let her do what she wants even if that includes me not being in the picture. I am willing as long as she is happy.

Soon enough I reached our house and sped towards Carslie who was walking around outside.

"Carslie! Quick… Bella… Jake… Werewolf!" He knew what I meant for he had been fearing this for sometime.

"I knew Jake wasn't all good… the way he looked at Bella… Now. OK so you need an antidote?"

I nodded fast thinking that with every second going by, Bella was suffering.

"All right… now I remember treating a werewolf bite a long time ago but that included ingredients I no longer have. You have two choices, you can go and take me with you, then again that will take longer because you'll have to knock out Jacob while I look at her, then get the right cure. On the other hand, there is a much riskier way… You could suck it out, the wolves saliva. It wouldn't affect any of your body since you're immune to swallowing substances.

"But she's already kissed the wolf, doesn't she already have… the saliva in her system?" I said hesitantly.

"True but this is saliva that is brought up on command, the wolf summons it knowing exactly what he is doing."

"Ah…"

"Yes. You have to choose."

"I'll choose the fastest way, and unfortunately the solo way."

"I can always come…?" Carslie suggested.

"Thinking it over, I think that maybe this should be between me, Jake and Bella." I looked down hoping that the outcome of this that followed wasn't what I was thinking. If Bella picked Jacob… I'd live on. I'd be me. I just would have to keep telling myself, "she's gone".

"What are you waiting for?" Carslie said clapping his hands. "Go!"

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Sorry this chapter was so short, I was expecting it to be stretched out a bit more, sorry, I'll make next one bit bigger : )


	3. Chapter 3

Enjoy : ) I don't own twilight… or new moon… or eclipse… TEAR!

**I APOLOGISE TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN READING THESE STORIES BY ME! I HAVE BEEN SPELLING EDWARD'S DAD LIKE "CARLISE" WHEN REALLY IT'S "CARLISLE". MY APOLOGIES!**

I NEED EDWARD!!!!

I love him, he is an essential to my survival and happiness! Note: for my birthday in Feb!

Enjoy!

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Bella's POV

I wanted to scream, to let out every emotion I had inside me. I wanted to scream out of anger, to cry out of depression, to shudder out of fear and to yell at Jake out of pure hatred. How could he do this to me over my own free will? He could have asked! Now there was no turning back. I was going to be a mongrel, a dog. I wasn't going to be a happily ever after married girl, wife to Edward. I was never going to go hunting with him, live with him, possibly not even see him again. I couldn't believe how stupid I was about Jake. 'I love him'? What was I thinking. It was this Jacob again, this hurting Bella like when he showed the bikes to Charlie, telling him what I did. Edward doesn't have this horrid side. He's all good. I love him, I wish I told him that every single time I saw him. When I was starting to get used to him leaving me for an hour or two, this happened. I trusted a jealous werewolf.

I was still curled up into a little ball sobbing quietly attempting to move my burning arm. Jacob was sitting next to me. I couldn't see him, I just felt his warmth. All I could see was that I was in a non-normal state, a sort of coma-dream. It was completely white around me. Last time Carlisle and Edward were there with me, Edward sucked out the venom. I wonder if he could do that to a werewolf bite. I could see that there was nothing around me, I was standing in the middle of nowhere, where the sky and the floor were the same shade of white. I walked because there was nothing else to do. I felt I had to keep moving like there was something pushing me. Even though I was in immense burning pain, there was something pushing me to keep walking. I found what it was.

"_Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella!"_

Edwards voice could be recognised over any amount of noise, including, in my case, none.

"Edward!" I called into the complete blankness. No reply. "Talk to me!"

"_Bella! Stay with me! Bella keep concentrating, don't drift off!"_

What was he talking about? I wasn't drifting off, I felt slightly dizzy but I could walk and talk, I wasn't drifting off… Or I thought I wasn't.

"I'm fine!" I yelled.

"_Bella! Sit down, stay very still! Don't move any inch of your body! Concentrate on my voice only!"_

I didn't understand why, at all, but I trusted him, now the only man apart from Charlie I could ever trust. He kept talking.

"_Bella. I need to keep talking so you can concentrate on me. I can't think of much but… Well, I guess the best thing to talk about in this near death situation is how much I love you. My love for you is not fake, it's not made up, it's very real and it's definitely not artificial. It's natural, it feels right. That's why it feels right to be around you. I love you to the ends of the Earth. And back. I love you more than I love anyone or anything in my life. If you leave me, to death, to Jake… I won't manage, I won't be alive. I will live, but not _alive_. I hope this has given you things to think about so now I'll talk about you. The thing that is constantly on my mind. Your brown wavy long hair, your hazel blue eyes, your small soft nose, your curvy tasty lips, delicate chin, thin neck, perfect posture and structure, your shoulders, parallel and perfect, your curvy torso, your long beautiful curvy legs… Bella, you are the only thing I think about throughout the whole day. Your looks are just the first thing. I think about your smile, the sweet glance I get of you teeth when you're pleased, your laugh, letting me know that your happy with me is the most rewarding thing."_

_WOW_. Was all I really could say. But there was a question rolling around on my tongue.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked from my knees.

"_Sometimes it's good to say it before it's too late."_

"It's not too late. I'll come out fine, I'll be a vampire. I am your wife and even if I become a werewolf, I won't spend time with Jake, if you'd accept me I'd spend time with you."

I got no response. I bit my lip holding back the pain that had immense whiplash.

"Can I move now?"

"_Yes."_

I stood up still slumped, holding my arm. When I looked around I saw myself and Jacob, but I Edward. This was in the past, I recognised it, we were sitting in the tree, I was Edward and I felt the rage he did. Seeing me, laughing with another guy. I clenched my fist and the voice talked again.

"_Bella, know that I will feel angry, I will feel bad, but I will respect your decision, me or Jacob."_

"JUST PLEASE COME, YOU CAN SUCK OUT THE POISON LIKE LAST TIME!"

"_Bella, calm down, I'm on my way, that was why I needed you to concentrate on me so I could tell where you were. I'm coming. I'm running. Stay put, don't leave from this place."_

"Where am I though?"

"_Your in your own mind."_

"…Then how are you…?"

"_Because you want me there."_

"Oh. Please hurry now, I need to wake up so I can punch Jake again."

"_DON'T wake up back to him. Stay there keep thinking, don't give in."_

I kept walking, like I did before. I waited for Ed to get here. I thought continuously about Edward. His hair, his eyes, his strong chest, his icy fingers, his kisses… And then the thought came across my mind that I might not ever be able to feel his icy lips against mine again. I might die.

At that thought I felt myself slip a bit, slip back to Jacob. That bastard. That was what Edward was telling me about, not to think like that, not to give in. Fair enough. Then again, I might not die, just turn into a filthy werewolf. Whenever I got angry I would have to turn into one. Did that mean I had to only wear shorts? No. I didn't need to think like that at all, I am just going to be Bella. Bella Cullen, wife, friend, vampire. I would be eternally with Edward. Forever, spending my life free and roaming, protected, adventurous, happy.

Now all I needed was to know what was going on outside my mind. If Edward was there yet, if Jake was taking me somewhere or if I was OK.

In the distance I could see a screen. Since it was in the distance, it looked very small. I walked closer but when I got closer I saw it was me, lying down on the floor, in the mud. I was curled up, my arm was green and various blacks. I had no expression on my face. For all anyone knew, I was dead. Jake was standing up, hovering over me. I wish I could read minds like Edward. That would be very handy to know what Jake was thinking now. Although I guess I don't want to know, he might be thinking about the future, our future. He could be thinking about me. I don't want that. I just want Edward thinking about me, Edward being with me.

I saw Jacob move, he walked backwards, his fists clenched. I saw Edward. I heard what they were saying like it was a movie.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!?!" Edward screamed over the rain.

"What's best for Bella."

"You're not what's best for Bella. You turned her, against her own will!"

"Yes, like I said before, she doesn't know what she wants until she realises it. Do you know why she didn't stop kissing me? Because she then and there knew she wanted me. Not you, not anyone but me."

"That's a lie!" Edward shouted in a growling voice.

"You know it's true. If she was awake she'd tell you that."

"_No, I wouldn't, I'd tell you that you are a fucking psycho and to go die in a hole!" _I told myself. Everything on the screen paused, Edward's facial expression and Jacob's stance. I hit the TV screen hoping it would work but it seemed to be stopped on purpose.

"Bell."

I heard Jake's voice in my head.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!" I screamed.

"Come out, tell him that you want me. Do that or I won't hesitate to call Sam and kill Edward with the help or Sam and even Paul. I will kill him. I know that Edward will be reading my mind so I'm not going to be thinking about it. Paul will hold Edward down while I do the honours, you will have watch. I mean it. Come out from your hiding spot, say that you love and want me or I'll kill him."

Everything stopped. I sat down again, I prayed fro Edwards voice. I needed it.

"How can you do this to me? I thought you loved me!" I said into the air that wasn't quite as comfortable.

"I do love you. You'll realise once your like me and he's out of the picture that you love me too."

He was gone I felt his breath leave. I broke down. I couldn't live my life like that. I was slipping, slipping back. I thought of something else. Edward, when he put that letter in my truck, "Be Safe." I remembered his kiss as we went into the party. I remembered his defensive stance when we saw James after Baseball. Baseball. That's right, I was meant to go tonight. I guess that's off.

"_Bella? Bella? Bella? Bella?"_

"EDWARD! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

"_Bella, talk to me!"_

"EDWARD, I'M HERE! HELLO?!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"_Bella, please, I need to know you're listening, just say 'yes', please!"_

"YES! EDWARD LISTEN TO ME! YES, YES, YES!" I couldn't believe he wasn't hearing me. I was yelling louder than I had ever done in my entire life. Tears welled up. Edward, just talk! I thought to myself.

"_OK, Bella, please talk! Are you alive?"_ Edward thought I was dead! "_Bella, Jacob says you want to be with him not me, talk to me! Tell me whether that's true!"_

"IT'S NOT TRUE, EDWARD!!!!!" How could he not hear me! I screamed, to make sure he couldn't hear me. He couldn't just leave, I needed to talk to him. To tell him that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Not with Jake.

"_OK Bella. I can take a hint. I do love you, but I hope you have a… nice life and I hope you made the decision that would make you happiest."_

"NOOOO! Edward… Edward…" I yelled then whispered. Tears were rolling now. I knew the future. I knew what was in store, misery. How could Jake do this? Oh, that's right, we already established he was a psycho.

I had to end this coma-dream. I had to get to Edward before he left to tell him I loved him. To tell him… What? I can't tell him I want to spend my life with him otherwise Jake could kill him… He might only be bluffing, Edward could be stronger but I don't want to take that risk. I knew what I had to do.

I slipped out of the coma concentrating as hard as possible. When I opened my eyes, I felt the cold mud and my arm aching more that in the coma.

"Edward!" I yelled. My voice was no use. It was re-directed in the wind. Jake was looming over me as I saw behind him, Edward walking away.

"EDWARD!" I shouted screaming louder. "I-" I stared before Jacob interrupted.

"Think about what your doing. I am capable of killing him…"

Edward heard me. He turned around.

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What did you think? Review me please!

Hope you enjoyed it. Still chapters to go!

IN PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers.


	4. Chapter 4

Hiii

chap 4 everyone!!!

thx special mention to dark grl raven grayson 14!!! thx for everything!!!

EnJoY: )

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Edward's POV

I turned around and sure enough, Bella was awake, blinking and breathing. Her voice was weak and croaky but I could hear it well, as well as ever. I was afraid of what she would say. Not that I completely trust Jake, it's just he said... Bella wanted to stay with him then when I tried talking to her, she ignored me.

"Bella..." I whispered.

"EDWARD, I-" Bella stopped as I saw Jake talk interrupting. Bella looked very angry. She was lying on the floor. Jacob was crouched down next to her now. Still talking. When I tried to read his mind, he wasn't thinking about what he was talking about, I could tell. He was thinking of when Sam found Bella. That image still scars me. There's a small scar where it made a mark and when it is brought up again, it glows.

"Edward! Come closer!" She said. I jogged closer to her, almost next to Jacob. Bella was not facing Jake, but facing the same way so he couldn't see her face.

"Edward. I need you to leave. This is what I want," Bella said as she shook her head ever so slightly. What is that supposed to mean. She was crying. "Leave, get another girl, forget about me."

"B-but Bella!" I stammered.

"No, please, leave." As Bella said this she mouthed the word 'don't'. What the hell was going on?

"OK, I'll leave." As I said this it broke my heart.

Bella's POV

Why wasn't he getting the hints? WHY WASN'T HE GETTING THEM? I needed him to. If he didn't I would be left forever, miserably a werewolf. Miserably with Jake. Miserably Bella Cullen, without Edward. No he had to get the hints. I had already shook my head and mouthed 'don't'.

"Edward."

"Yes Bella?"

"A last good bye." I moved in to kiss him very slowly and when I reached very close I whispered to him. "Help me, he's threatening to kill you."

I wasn't sure if he heard me but I thought he did from his still reaction. Then I kissed him, a familiar kiss. Not a goodbye. More of a "I'll see you soon but I love you" kiss. When we pulled away he whispered to me as well.

"I'll be back."

"Goodbye Edward." I cried, it felt like he was really going, forever.

"Goodbye Bella." Edward had tears in his eyes but his face remained the same. I turned back around not able to look at Edward upset anymore. Jacob's face was placid not one emotion showing. I could feel his infuriation. He didn't see me talk to Ed, only saw me kiss him. Edward backed away and winked the eye that Jake couldn't see.

When Edward was well gone Jake finally broke the silence.

"Now Bella. Thank you. You see, soon we'll live happily, Edward won't even exist."

"What?"

"Edward."

"...Yeah, what did you say?"

"That he won't exist."

"You said..."

"I never said what would happen to Edward even if you did what I said. Bella. You don't understand. Your better off without him. Sam's on him now. I gave him the queue."

"You BASTARD! YOUR GOING TO KILL EDWARD?"

"Sorry Bella. I know this is upsetting you now but later on when _we're_ married, you'll thank me."

"I don't think I can ever forgive you for this Jake. This is low, this is braking the rules, this is _murder_. How can you?"

"Bella, I'd do anything for you-"

"Then stop this."

"Anything but that. Edward can't protect you, he can't keep you warm. I can do everything for you and I'm willing. I'm better then Edward."

"Even if you were, Jacob, I'd prefer Edward. There's no way I'd pick you over Edward. He is my other half, he's my _husband_. Jake, this isn't you! This isn't the guy that helped me with the bikes."

"I am the Jake you're thinking of there I'm just more knowledgeable."

"Of what I want?"

"Yes, and who's best for you."

"How can you say that? I know what's best for me, that's not you! Do you want me to be happy?"

"Yes."

"Then let me go, let me be with Edward. I'll be most happy with him."

"Bella, do you remember when he left you and I made you happy? When he leaves forever, I'll still make you happy! It's logical!"

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS JAKE? DO THIS TO ME? DO THIS TO EDWARD!"

"Shh, Bella, calm down. It's OK. I'm here." I let that one go. He helped me up. My arm was spreading, not only could I see it, I could feel it.

"Only… three more hours before you become a werewolf."

"I can't wait," I said sarcastically.

"Bella, don't be like that."

"YOUR ABOUT TO KILL MY HUSBAND!"

"Shh, it's OK. Try not to think about it."

I had to do something. It was driving me insane. I couldn't be useless again. I had to save him. To help at least, somehow. Surely Alice has seen what Jake's been thinking… Why would she? She'd probably be too busy. So how brilliant is this? I'm helpless for three hours while Sam kills Edward I get turned into a werewolf, then I live the rest of my lousy life with Jake, trying to run away but failing. Considering committing suicide.

I knew I should think about this more but the question is should I stay with some I can live with or someone I can't live without? No question about it, Edward. That's how easy it is to decide Edward over Jacob. I don't want to be married to Jake. Edward and I are perfect for each other, nothing is wrong with us being together. I need to figure out a way to save Edward. Too bad I can't get free. Jake's a werewolf, he'd catch up even if I sprinted. I had no hope. How was Edward going to win a fight with Sam? He could possibly win with Jake, but not Sam! Well I pray, I guess there isn't anything else to do.

_Please God. Let Edward be OK… I'm sorry, I don't often pray, I'm not good all the time but please, Edward is my other half, I need him. I want this to be resolved. Jake needs to meet someone perfect for him and let me go. Please God. Edward means more to me then life itself. I need to know he'll be OK so I can focus on stopping this bite from spread. Just please, help me. I need you to watch over and protect Edward. He may not need it but please, please, please, I love him with all my heart._

When I finished the prayer silently in my head, I whispered into the cold motionless air, the frosty lifeless air, "Amen."


	5. Chapter 5

Chap 5

Hope you guys all like it, please review!!!! It cant kill you!!!!

**LAST CHAPTER!!!!**

See on the other side…! Ha ha : )

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Edwards POV

Just like that. I walked away. Bella doesn't know how much I resisted punching out Jacob then and there. I started to concentrate, trying to read Jake's mind.

"_Thank god he fell for it. At least he'll be dead soon. Sam? Oh good your there. Can you see him? Brilliant. On my mark, attack. Ready? ATTACK!"_

At that moment as he said, Sam emerged from the bush as a large black wolf, his hair short as always.

"SAM!" I yelled. He kept sprinting towards me. As he closed in, I ran. That was the easy part, running away from him, but calming him down is pretty hard.

"SAM! Stop! Think about what you're doing! Calm down, I don't deserve to die! Bella needs me so don't kill me!" How was he going to kill me anyway? There was no light that I could see… That I could see. He was right on my tail. I tried running a little bit faster but he just sped up. When ever I kept talking to him he seemed to be the same even when I insulted him, it was like he couldn't hear me. I kept swerving, even going in circles but it he was like a missile lock, not letting go until finally, their target is reached. I gulped, a bit worried of how this would play out.

Once more I concentrated on Sam's mind.

"_Edward, Edward, I know your listening, Edward, please, Jacob wants me to kill you or he'll kill my sister. Please, I need this."_

"Sam! I heard you and I need this too, He's turned Bella into a werewolf and I need to save her! I have a plan. Stop running for a second, I won't kill you, I swear, I'm not that type of person."

Sam stopped. Under my breath I muttered, "thank god".

"_Edward, hurry up, Jacob will check in on me."_

"Can't you lie to him?"

"_No, he knows when I'm lying."_

'How?"

"_My voice, it turns."_

"OK, well how about you just say that 'he's long gone'. That will be true, I'll be long gone away from you. You won't be lying."

"_I'd love to help you but what happens when he sees you not dead, and when you turn up alive?"_

"Don't worry, Sam, Jake won't hurt you or your sister ever."

"_YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM?"_

"Not technically. but he will learn."

Bella's POV

All I could do was wait. Wait for what? Edward to come back? Sam to kill Edward? To become a werewolf? For this bite to spread? Jacob to give up on me? Not likely. Grr this was annoying. The worst part was that I couldn't do anything to prevent or change the future. Oh but I could. I could commit suicide…? Ha. No way, there is still a possibility that I'll end up with Edward. All that had to be done was that Edward had to talk Sam out of killing him, come back, stop this bite, talk to Jake and… and what? Fight to the death? Kill him? I really didn't know. I didn't even know what to pray for to happen, the best case scenario I guess if there is such a thing. For Jake to fall in love with… not me and for him to magically leave so Edward can come back, save me and take me to our new cottage house. I wish. But there are never happy endings. People are murdered, they die in car crashes. People lose limbs, people lose family members. They have to save their friend by choosing whether to sacrifice their own life so their friend can live on. They have to say 'sorry', they have to break relationships, they have to make hard decisions, they have to say 'no' to something wrong like drugs or pressure. I know this as a true fact that nothing ever has a happy ending, sometimes, but there is always a catch. At least when there are happy endings it's in movies and books, in other peoples lives, not mine.

"Bella?"

I didn't respond. He sickened me.

"Bella talk to me."

I glared at Jake.

"I know what's best for you."

_No you don't_ I thought to myself. How could he? He thought what was best for me but didn't know. I knew what was best, Edward Cullen. A cottage house. Being a vampire. But that all went down the drain. Now I'll be a werewolf. I won't be happy, but that'd who I'll be. Still Bella Cullen forever.

"Jacob."

"Yes, Bella?"

"Why?"

"I already told you, because it's what's best."

"No. Stop saying it's what's best."

"But it is Bella! Don't you see!" He stood up emphasizing with his hands. "It's so simple, you love me! That's why you let my voice inside your head when you were in that dream!"

"JUST SHUT IT!"

I needed to think. Did I really let his voice in my head? I didn't know I was letting his voice in… I was just… I don't know what I as doing. I was just hovering. Hoping to come out alive to Edward's arms waiting. Happy endings again.

"Bella. You only have a couple of hours until you become a werewolf. I want your last moments being human to be special. So what can we do to make it special…"

"Just end all this Jake. I'm begging you. PLEASE!"

"What are you going to do? Sam's already told me that Edward's long gone so don't worry about him. You may as well be happy with me now that he's gone. Long gone."

No. He couldn't be, not just like that. He couldn't be. It was impossible, my indestructible Edward! How could he be killed without sunlight? I'm sure Jake and Sam had thought that through. Edward. Edward. Edward was gone, "long gone". How could he be dead, just like that? But it didn't feel that way to me… It felt as though he was still alive, still looking for me. Still out there somewhere. Searching. Edward couldn't be gone. I know that if he was there would be a large hole in my heart where Edward's heart would have been, next to mine only empty and dead. But no, it was alive, pumping, rushing and happy. It was content, next to mine, closer. They went together well, as well as fish and chips. Edward was not gone, not dead. He was alive! Searching for me, to save me! He was my knight. Not in shining armour, but in all his glory.

"Bella…? Are you OK? You look like you're about to faint…"

"Well you just fucking killed my husband…" I murmured.

He didn't say anything after that. By this time Jake was slumped against a tree standing up looking out into the forest. I was facing the opposite direction sitting down holding my arm. I faced the beach. It must have been late afternoon, the sun was close to setting. My arm didn't hurt much, at all in fact. I didn't know why, perhaps because it has just been aching for so long my system has developed a natural morphine to ease the pain. My arm looked the same, green and black to my finger tips then my shoulder. Mindless minutes past as the 'venom' spread. I couldn't feel anything. I kept reminding myself that Edward was coming. Coming for me, to save me, and this time I would get my happily ever after.

"Jake? Why aren't we moving somewhere?"

"Because we're waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"Sam and Edward's dead body."

Edwards POV

Now with Sam out of the picture, I started running back. It was easy to follow, I just tracked my own scent which was so strange. It was like I was following my lost arm or something. I could smell my own blood which was so weird. When I got closer all I had to do was focus on Bella's scent. What was the plan? I think I am going to kill Jake when I see him… That would be easiest, but I can't. I can't do that, it's not me. I would have to talk to him first. And say what? "Hey Jake, can you let Bella go and leave her life? Oh Gee thanks!" I don't think so. Maybe I could try tricking him… Or just talking, or making Bella decide who she wants. Bella deciding would be easiest, but… but she might be tricked again and have to pick Jake… Tricked over what? I was alive, I could protect her. Well whatever I was going to do I had to decide fast. I guess I had to talk to Jake and make Bella decide. This was not going to be good. I could feel it.

Bella's POV

When was Edward going to get here? He had probably run away to Vegas and forgotten about me. No, he was coming. I could feel it, call me crazy but I could feel it. His presence was always warm, but the he was always cold. Edward knew when I needed him, luckily this time he would save me from the clutches of 'evil'. I think he was really angry at Jacob, close to killing him.

"He's coming," Jake said standing straight.

"I know."

"Look away, love." He could NOT call me love, I was love to Edward, not Jake!

"Don't EVER call me that."

"But you are my love," Jacob said in his puppy dog voice. In this situation, nothing worked on me.

"Just don't go there Jake." Jake turned into the werewolf he was at heart. He was in the same stance (only on four legs) defensive and protective. I tried moving but my arm just went limp. There was no use Edward sucking out this venom, it was too much, the venom cells had probably reproduced too many times.

Soon enough, as Jake said, Edward emerged from the bush.

"Jake, why can't you just let Bella _choose _what she wants." Edward was talking and then reading Jacob's mind in response. "She deserves to decide! …She still has a chance to be a vampire… Bella doesn't want that!" Jacob changed into human form.

"Bella, do you want to be able to be free, fast at running and happy?" Jake asked.

"Yes," I replied. "With Edward."

"No, with me."

"Jake! No! Not you! Definitely not after this!" I showed him my arm which was now just a swollen lump.

"Bella. It's OK to admit you want me."

"I DON'T!"

"Bella," Edward said, his voice was calm as always. He walked over to me, past Jake. "Bella, trust me on this one OK?"

"OK."

"Jacob."

"Yes?"

"Do you want Bella to be happy?"

"Yes."

"Do you want Bella to make her own choices?"

"Yes."

"Do you want Bella to be comfortable?"

"Yes."

"OK then, here we go. Bella?" Edward asked obviously thought this through.

"Mm?" I said.

"Who will you be happiest with?"

"You."

"Who is your own choice?"

"You."

"Who will you be most comfortable with?"

"You."

"And where does that leave me, Edward?" Jacob asked in a growling voice.

"You tell me. Are you going to bother Bella?"

Avoiding that question, Jake said, "Bella, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes Jake, please, just go."

"I CAN'T BELLA! I LOVE YOU!"

"Jake! Please! I want Edward, you don't mean anything that way to me!"

"NO!"

"Yes! Leave me be, I'll live happily with Edward, you don't make me feel happy as Edward does!"

"BELLA! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I CAN'T LEAVE, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"

"You're going to have to! I'm not in love with you, and I don't think I love you either! Not after this!"

"BELLA! LISTEN TO YOUSELF! HE'S GOTTEN INTO YOUR BRAIN!"

"NO JAKE! This is me talking. I want Edward not you, there is no point you trying to make me love you. I will never. Not before and not NOW! There's no point Jake! Find your soul mate, marry them, I know I found mine and married them! It's not you!"

"BELLA! SHUT UP! YOU _WILL_ LOVE ME, AND I'M NOT LETTING HIM TAKE YOU AWAY!"

"You can't take me away!" Edward crouched down beside me and gripped my waist.

"Edward! Don't you DARE take her!" Jake said. His anger was growing, I could see he was holding back turning into a werewolf.

"Jacob, give it up!" Edward said lifting me about to run off when Jake…

"AHH!" Jake screamed and ran towards Edward and punched him. When Jake punched from the left, I was on the side that he was following through on, I got part of the punch too. It didn't hurt Edward since he was a vampire but to me it was like the full force of a bus on my cheek. I fell to the side stretching my cheek to make sure it was OK.

Edward was staring at me, I felt the blood going down my cheek. He looked away a bit, then all that I could see was anger. He was glaring at Jacob.

"Edward. It's OK, I'm fine." I tried calming him down a bit but it wasn't working, his fists were still clenched so tightly that his nail were digging hard into his skin. Edward let me go a bit, loosely putting me against a tree. He didn't take his eyes off Jacobs.

"Edward! Come on, let's just leave!" He wasn't listening. "Please! I don't want anyone hurt! Come on!" I lied a bit, I told him I didn't want anyone hurt when really I wanted Jacob to be hurt… But I wanted to hurt him myself, not get Edward to. I didn't want them to fight, Edward needed to take me to Carlisle.

"EDWARD!" Finally he snapped his head back. "Please. I need to get this poison out of my body."

"Sorry." Edward walked away with me. Jake stood there. Staring at Edward.

Jacob's POV

How could I be letting this happen? This was unacceptable. I had to do something. If I wanted to kill Edward, now was the time. I could easily just jump on him now. Oh brilliant, Edward's listening, hi fucker. Ha. I love Bella, surely you remember when she was lying in the mud, curled up, pale, unconscious and muttering your name.

"SHUT UP JAKE!" Edward yelled at me.

"She was so upset then when I made her happy, it was perfect, it was love. Then you had to come back and ruin everything."

"I didn't come back, Bella came to get me."

"Sure. But not out of free will, Alice was pushing her to."

"No Jake, I went to get Edward because I still loved him!" Bella said. I wish she would just be quiet so I could talk to Edward, piss him off a bit then when he finally leaves Bella alone, I could snatch her. No, that was too low like Bella said. I couldn't do that, I couldn't steal her.

"Edward you are just a stupid vampire. She wants more, she wants a werewolf."

"She wants a husband."

"I can be her husband. I'm perfect for her."

"No, you aren't."

"Just stop it you two!" Bella yelled over us.

"Bella, stay OUT of this!" I yelled. No, no, no, I can't get angry. I can't turn into a werewolf. I can't do that to them. It was starting… I was changing. I could feel it. Before I knew it I was a werewolf.

_Edward, give me a break, stop this, let me get Bella so I can live with her, we're thinking what's best for her here._

"_NO JACOB! STOP THIS! THIS IS STUPID! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" _Sam yelled. He was in the werewolf state too.

_Sam, trust me, Bella needs me!_

"_NO SHE DOESN'T! You've already broken the rules by far, you're an outcast to our pack, you're no longer a member."_

_What for?_

"_For taking Bella, turning her against her will, and attempting to kill Edward! You also threatened me, and threatened Bella. You have no right to stay in our pack!"_

I said nothing. I changed back, as if to stop the conversation. I was done. All I could do now was be a lone wolf. I'd heard of them before, roaming around, sprinting for no reason. Sounds like a life I could get used to. Bella's out of my life, I have no pack, Billy can live without me, sure enough he will hear of my actions from Sam. Lone Wolf. I looked down at my feet. It suited me. No more charades. No more dramas. No more wanting something that isn't yours. Bella belongs to Edward. I can't have her. Soon she will be back to normal. I have to let her go.

"Goodbye Bella, bye Edward," I said. I was never any good at farewells. I walked the opposite direction. Alone as a Lone Wolf. There was no way I could return to Forks. I had to leave, go some place far away. Like I said before, no more charades. I had to leave Bella and Edward alone for a while, let them settle. Maybe I could come back in years to come, visit them. If they would accept me.

Bella's POV

When we got to Carlisle, he immediately put me on morphine and under the knife. I was so groggy that I couldn't even work out where I was when I woke up after the venom was removed. I was safe now. When I woke, Edward was sitting next to my bed his hand was holding mine, his head was resting on his arm on the bed. It looked like he was asleep.

"Edward?"

"Yes? Oh! You're awake!" He replied getting up.

"What were you doing?"

"I was dreaming."

"What do you mean?"

"Thinking, dreaming. About us." He smiled. I attempted to smile back, my head was spinning.

"Did Carlisle get all the venom out?"

"Yes, it all worked fine, you're able to be a vampire soon."

"Good, I can't wait." I yawned. "I think I need to go back to sleep."

"OK, I need to tell Carlisle that you're OK. I love you and I'm sorry about Jake."

"That's OK."

"He's gone now, Sam rejected him from the pack, he's leaving town. Do you want to go say goodbye…?"

"No. I'm sure he'll live." Edward smiled.

"I love you, I'll be right back-"

"No."

"…?"

"Don't leave… please…?"

"OK. I'm here." Edward kissed my hand and put his chin on his arm. He was looking in my eyes. I fell asleep, I could feel his eyes on mine, his warmth once more. I was safe, finally, I was warm, a bit tired but safe. There was no chance of seeing Jacob again. I drifted off in a dreamless sleep, only of Edward. Edward's smile, his lips, his muscles, his laugh, his protecting glare, his nice warmth, his cool touch. Edward Cullen.


End file.
